How to make a Terminator film

You will need the following ingredients:

1. Guns'n'Roses
2. "I'll be back."
3. "Hasta la vista Baby."
4. "Come with me if you want to live."
5. Skynet
6. The Resistance
7. Sarah Connor
8. John Connor
9. Arnold Schwarzenneger with half his face missing
10. Gloopy liquid metal guy making bits of himself stick out of other people's bodies
11. Time travel

Throw these together in no particular order and bang, you're done!

Blade Runner 2049

Android passes the Turing test by getting knocked up and abandoned by her boyfriend.

The casting of Jessie Eisenberg as Lex Luthor

"Who shall I cast as Lex Luthor in Batman vs Superman vs Doomsday vs Wonder Woman + Justice League Part 0?" Zack Snyder asked himself, chewing his gum thoughtfully.
He sat and pondered this for a while.
"I know!" he cried. "What did Christopher Nolan do when he cast the Joker for the Dark Knight? He got the most leftfield, against-type actor available, defied fan expectations and got him to give a performance that was twitchy and psychotic and loaded with mannerisms. And that worked out really well! I'll do that!"

Why haven't there been more H. P. Lovecraft adaptations?

I want a film about cosmic vomit monsters and I want it now!

Alien Covenant

Letter from Ridley Scott to Alien fans:

Dear Alien fans,

I would like to extend my humble apologies for Prometheus. I realise now that what you wanted was a proper gory Alien film instead of all the Erich Von Daniken nonsense that you got, so please accept this new film by way of compensation for your wasted time. I have killed off Noomi Rapace and the Engineers and turned Michael Fassbender into a full-on homicidal killbot, and have also reintroduced the xenomorph into the series along with buckets of blood and copious scenes of erupting human viscera. Unfortunately I couldn't think of any way to get Ellen Ripley into the script so I inserted a very similar crop-haired heroine with giant gun and grimy vest instead. I hope this is more to your satisfaction.

Please stop sending me hate mail,

Love,

Ridley

Blade Runner

"Do you like our owl?"

"Is it artificial?"

"Of course it is."

2001 A Space Odyssey

What happened to the Star Child afterwards?