Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Thursday, 14 March 2019

From Dusk Till Dawn


Conclusive proof that you should never make a film while simultaneously necking tequila shots.

Tuesday, 5 February 2019

How to make a Star Wars film that Star Wars fans will love


  1. Make the film.
  2. Get in a time machine.
  3. Journey back in time three decades and show the fans the film when they were children

Monday, 5 November 2018

To 10 Uncanniest Valley moments


They can do dragons, they can do apes, but them CGI animators sure can't do people:

1) Clu, Tron Legacy
2) Grand Moff Tarkin & Princess Leia, Rogue One
3) Alita, Battle Angel Alita (Not released yet but the trailer's already given me nightmares.)
3) The Dark Seekers, I Am Legend
4) Xavier and Magneto flashback, X-Men The Last Stand
5) Dain, The Hobbit 3
6) Steppenwolf, Justice League
7) Superman, Justice League
8) The Scorpion King, The Mummy Returns
9) Renesmee, Twilight
10) Cher, Burlesque

Thursday, 1 November 2018

Pitch for the next Transformers film



Remake of Titanic, but the boat is an Autobot and the iceberg is a Decepticon.

(Note - I had no idea at the time of writing that the transforming Titanic-robot was actually a thing.)

The neutering of the raptors in the Jurassic series



Films 1 & 2: Killing machines
Film 3: Concerned parents
Film 4: Dogs